22 June 2012

Keyboard shortcuts for real life

CTRL-S   rescue child

SHIFT-CTRL-S   rescue child while wearing a certain superhero costume

CTRL-A   I want everything

CTRL-C, CTRL-V   become a renowned writer, like Johann Hari or Jonah Lehrer

CTRL-Q   leave job as renowned writer after previous shortcuts discovered

CTRL-Z   row back, clarify, apologize

CTRL-ALT-DEL   abandon work

CTRL-F   I still haven’t found what I’m looking for

END   terminate this ineffably boring conversation

F5 (or CTRL-R)   make a cold beverage appear

ESC   evade the authorities

CTRL-H   find a place of concealment

CTRL-M   curl up into the foetus position

HOME   I am too drunk: transport me immediately to my place of residence

F8   Que sera, sera.